F.E.A.S.T.

Quite some time ago i brought some dvds from Malaysia (they're erm.. real ones...) and i saw this dvd cover that looked quite scary, like a horror flick, so i decided to buy it. The movie title is called FEAST. One time, me and my bro decided to watch it.





Like not bad ar?


Initially i thought i would expect FEAST to be a horror movie with suspense and gore in an exciting kinda way (based on the dvd cover)... but it turned out to be a slapstick cum horror cum kinky movie!

This is like a "i-don't-give-a-damn-what-you-think" flick for dumbass people! But however, in a funny way, i somewhat enjoyed it!

The story of Feast is simple. A group of people is stuck in a bar in the middle of nowhere. Outside the bar, there are monsters doing everything they can to get to these people.

The characters are interesting and funny (and they do not live long in the movie), the storyline is just so stupid as if it's like a slap in your face, the blood-and-guts factor is certainly there, there were alot of very funny and suspense moments in it and most importantly....

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THE MONSTERS ARE DAMN HORNY!!!!




Me and my bro couldn't stop laughing while watching it! Imagine this butchie lady who got her leg sawed off was being mercilessly thrown out of the bar and when the horny monster saw her, it quickly pounced on her and forced her to perform ORAL SEX !!! And the scene ended with her mouth full of white acidic substance and i think she died...

WHAHAHAHA!!!!

Honestly, overall, i really enjoy this stupid show, cos I laughed so much more than I got scared. You guys should really watch it.

DAMN SUAY...

12th June Tuesday ---> A really damn suay day.

You know you're unlucky when the first thing you did in the morning was a disaster. First i woke up late for work. Then i hurriedly rushed for the toilet to bath and all... And when i came out of the shower, i fall and my tush landed flat to the ground, cos Granny was mopping the floor... - _ -

This is just a tip of the iceberg.

I took the NEL to work. During the timing of 8.30 to 9am, the trains will usually be very crowded. (For those who work and take the NEL should know.) But the ULTIMATE WORST is taking the train from Douby Ghaut to Raffles Place! For a super busy day like a Monday you would need to wait for 2 rounds or even 3 rounds to board the train, uncomfortably.

Worse, you have to really S-S-SQUEEZEEEE to get on the train. The train is so packed that everyone in the train gets really close contact with each other... Stinky armpits, Smelly hair, Sweat, B.O.!

p/s: I usually sweat alot on my way to work so poor thing to those who were near me on the train. No apologies.

Back to the Suayness.

I was taking the escalator down to take the whatever line to Raffles Place and the train had already arrived. Being a typical S'porean i rushed down to chop the last available space of the train. But while rushing down the train i heard the "Ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti' sound, still i "neh si" die-die wana squeeze into the train and.... no prizes for guessing what happens next....

KENA KIAP!!

wait wait...
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MY WATCH ALSO KENA KIAP AND IT BROKE.

Kao! there's really no proper censor for the trains and the doors one leh.. When i was kiap the train door still dun wana release me like that! Maybe it was created like that, to punish those last minute passengers who always anyhow squeeze into the train get kiap, i duno...

Bad.

@ work
Around 11plus, i had to take a leak so i went to the gents.(Duh) I went to the first cubicle and when i wanted to lock the door, it seemed like it can't be locked easily.... so i FORCEFULLY LOCK IT. And when i was done "leaking", i attempt to open the door.

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I just couldn't open the door!
I FORCED OPEN IT!
CANNOT!!!
DIE LAH!!!

And there were no one in the toilet.. not that i wanted anyone to be inside the toilet lah.. I mean what would i say to him?!?!

"EH HELLO THERE! THE TOILET DOOR CAN'T OPEN LAH! I'M NOW STUCK IN THE CUBICLE. HELP!"

Damn sia suay lah!

At this moment, i could do 2 things.

-> Scream and shout for help and become the laughing stock of the whole company for 100 years.

OR

-> I could be like Jackie Chan and climb the walls of the toilet and jump down, in the hope of no one witnessing me do that.

Of cos i did the second one!

Imagine me, in formal wear, STRETCHING my legs to reach the wall, which is quite high fyi, and in the meantime looking left and right for anybody who will see me.. which then i would have to kill 'em! Then i jumped! And i didn't land really well. (My left leg hurts.) But heng no one saw lah!

( I cannot believe if the people at my workplace were to read this... they'll probably laugh so hard that they pee in their pants and went to the toilet and got locked too.)

Having said that, my purpose in posting this is, of cos, to let everyone read and have a laugh out of it. (But it really did happened.)

I duno why i was so suay that day. I don't recall stepping onto dog poo or walking under "tek ko" full of underwear leh...