Empty.

The Loneliness is Impeccable.

I am, indeed.

Great Friends

People come and go in life.
But only very special ones will stay throughout your life.

Great Friends.

Those that you carry a good conversation with.

Those that will be there for you when you need them.

Those that make you comfortable in each other's presence, even when there's an awkward silence at times.

Those that make you laugh, EVEN without their presence. Just reminiscing of some stupid, hilarious things done by them will have you laughing your ass off in the train station... ALONE!

Those friends are hard to come by. So if you'd met them, cherish 'em, before they slowly fade away from your life.

I'm grateful that i've met a couple of them great friends.
(You know who you are.)

I also hope that i was one of those great friends.

Memoirs of BRAVO 3 SIR

Bravo - Greatly Missed.

It's been 3 months since i ORD-ed from 3SIR BRAVO. Time really flashes right before our eyes huh... I just got a text message from my army pal Melvin, and he said he missed the tough times walking late in the night full battle order (sometimes in undesirable weather), cursing and swearing at how tough our training was, and also how glad we were when we took the bus back to camp. After i read that message, i kinda took a trip down memory lane.. and ya, I actually genuinely miss those times.

I was glad to be reposted to join Bravo Platoon 6. Initially, when i first joined Bravo, i thought i was in Gangsta's Paradise... Some of them actually scared me with their tattoos and stuff.. (But those guys rawk alright.) Although we only got closer during the 2nd year in Bravo, but i was glad i got to know them better, those crazy peeps. There are alot of colorful, funny characters in Platoon 6 and they never fail to make me laugh! The commanders are great and fun, and not forgetting our Encik, Darren Tan, one of the few people i respected the most. He kept the Law and Order in Bravo, and without him, our company will be an UTTER CHAOS! (Believe me, you can take my word for it.)



Here's the list of things i missed about Bravo.

1. I miss my Bunk.

2. Lying in my bed, listening to mp3, sleeping.

3. Ordering Nasi Lemak or Bah Chor Mee @ night.

4. After lights off timing supper/chat.

5. Bunk mates (Hilmi, Hairrin, Pang, Daniel, Danny, Melvin and erm.... HAZ-LAY!!)

6. Area Cleaning (maybe not...)

7. Nights Off with the Guys!
(Tampines Mall, Changi Village, Tampines Mall, Changi Village, Tampines Mall..)

8. Playing with their PSPs!

9. Clearing our long-shot off and leave together!

10. Helping each other out during outfield.

11. Suffering together during outfield, be it rain or shine.

12. Coming back from outfield together in the Magic school bus.

13. Long, long hours of admin time.

14. AH SENG!!!!!!!!


Things we have to drag our Lazy Asses to do everytime.


15. Waking up for Breakfast

16. Wearing smart 4. for Lunch

17. Dinner ok lah, nights off most of the time.

18. Sai Kang

19. Guard Duty

20. IPPT!

21. SOC!!!! (Major Killer)


The Peeps




22. The idiotic noise and laughter made by Hilmi.

23. Hairrin's playful wits and his bikini underwear!

24. The Playful Twins.

25. Crazy Sean & Nizam

26. Breakfast, lunch, dinner nights off Buddies Daniel, Melvin, Danny, De Biao.

27. Melvin's opinionated/negative perspective & zany humor

28. Daniel's good company.

29. Danny's funny puns and his tidbits... haha!

30. De Biao's colorful, fun-loving character!

31. Sharing Cab, Style, Mens folio, 8 Days with Pang.

32. Crazy, fun peeps Weiquan, DK, Tom, Weihao, Sebas

33. Wei Quan's temper-free attitude and good personality.

34. De Kai's Humor. (And forever staring at ** outside ** bunk!)

35. Tom's HAWTNESS...ARCHE.......

36. Weihao's sex talk and funny moves in tackling girls!

37. Sebas' cold but entertaining puns

38. Terry-mon's In-Terry-gence!

39. Haz - LAYYYYYY!!!!!!! (My BUDDY! He's actually quite a good friend alright!)

40. Hilarious Sgt. Kevin.

41. Spontaneous Sgt. Soadiq.

42. Responsible Sgt. Fazli.

43. Caring Sect-com Sgt. Albert.

44. Steady/Flexible Sgt. Ricky/Jason

45. Captain Jack Neo! (Always call me tweety bird!)

46. Respectable Encik!

I'll be lying if i say that i do not reminisce the times in Bravo, and i can't say that i wanna go back to Bravo too... Civilians life is so much better!

Life still goes on after our Army phase, but the memories will be captured in our hearts forever.

This post is dedicated to Bravo Platoon 6.
See you soon during re-service! :)

T.W.I.S.T.E.R.

Cheerio Chaps! (And yes, that's my tongue.)


Some time ago, me and some of my friends decided to stay @ a hotel near town since Ena had a room for the night. Also, its like a farewell for her before she went back to Melbourne. Hence, we decided to crash. But before that we were wall waiting for Lynn and Jon to knock off from work, and therefore we headed to Muddy Murphys first. The pics below are courtesy of Ena's camera!


The girls.



The guys.








One of the random things we do.
(Nice ass, i mean me!)


Around 11 plus i think, we left Muddy Murphy's. We met up wth Jon and then headed to 7-Eleven to get some mixers, cup-noodles and chips... Just to prep for the night!


OK BACK TO THE HOTEL!

We had drinks, cup-noodles and TV while still waiting for Lynn.
Hence, in the meantime.....



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Krispy Kreme Endorsers!

Baileys + Vodka Pears

They're doing all this while i was taking a dump in the toilet.

Headgear Models



HOME ALONE IDIOT.


And I dedicate this collage i have made to Jon Ng, our Major Camwhore!
I LOVE YOU BIATCH!





For the good love of God....

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The man who died cam-whoring.


Around one-ish, Lynn finally arrived, with Twister!


The game was... interesting.

Well, the pics said it all...



The Game.



The beginning was fun....



Until.....



Oh my goodness... Hello?



Ooh la la...





WHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I'm sorry Shan, But....

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PUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Poor thing!

All i can say is that this game kisses alot of ASS!

F.E.A.S.T.

Quite some time ago i brought some dvds from Malaysia (they're erm.. real ones...) and i saw this dvd cover that looked quite scary, like a horror flick, so i decided to buy it. The movie title is called FEAST. One time, me and my bro decided to watch it.





Like not bad ar?


Initially i thought i would expect FEAST to be a horror movie with suspense and gore in an exciting kinda way (based on the dvd cover)... but it turned out to be a slapstick cum horror cum kinky movie!

This is like a "i-don't-give-a-damn-what-you-think" flick for dumbass people! But however, in a funny way, i somewhat enjoyed it!

The story of Feast is simple. A group of people is stuck in a bar in the middle of nowhere. Outside the bar, there are monsters doing everything they can to get to these people.

The characters are interesting and funny (and they do not live long in the movie), the storyline is just so stupid as if it's like a slap in your face, the blood-and-guts factor is certainly there, there were alot of very funny and suspense moments in it and most importantly....

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THE MONSTERS ARE DAMN HORNY!!!!




Me and my bro couldn't stop laughing while watching it! Imagine this butchie lady who got her leg sawed off was being mercilessly thrown out of the bar and when the horny monster saw her, it quickly pounced on her and forced her to perform ORAL SEX !!! And the scene ended with her mouth full of white acidic substance and i think she died...

WHAHAHAHA!!!!

Honestly, overall, i really enjoy this stupid show, cos I laughed so much more than I got scared. You guys should really watch it.

DAMN SUAY...

12th June Tuesday ---> A really damn suay day.

You know you're unlucky when the first thing you did in the morning was a disaster. First i woke up late for work. Then i hurriedly rushed for the toilet to bath and all... And when i came out of the shower, i fall and my tush landed flat to the ground, cos Granny was mopping the floor... - _ -

This is just a tip of the iceberg.

I took the NEL to work. During the timing of 8.30 to 9am, the trains will usually be very crowded. (For those who work and take the NEL should know.) But the ULTIMATE WORST is taking the train from Douby Ghaut to Raffles Place! For a super busy day like a Monday you would need to wait for 2 rounds or even 3 rounds to board the train, uncomfortably.

Worse, you have to really S-S-SQUEEZEEEE to get on the train. The train is so packed that everyone in the train gets really close contact with each other... Stinky armpits, Smelly hair, Sweat, B.O.!

p/s: I usually sweat alot on my way to work so poor thing to those who were near me on the train. No apologies.

Back to the Suayness.

I was taking the escalator down to take the whatever line to Raffles Place and the train had already arrived. Being a typical S'porean i rushed down to chop the last available space of the train. But while rushing down the train i heard the "Ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti' sound, still i "neh si" die-die wana squeeze into the train and.... no prizes for guessing what happens next....

KENA KIAP!!

wait wait...
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MY WATCH ALSO KENA KIAP AND IT BROKE.

Kao! there's really no proper censor for the trains and the doors one leh.. When i was kiap the train door still dun wana release me like that! Maybe it was created like that, to punish those last minute passengers who always anyhow squeeze into the train get kiap, i duno...

Bad.

@ work
Around 11plus, i had to take a leak so i went to the gents.(Duh) I went to the first cubicle and when i wanted to lock the door, it seemed like it can't be locked easily.... so i FORCEFULLY LOCK IT. And when i was done "leaking", i attempt to open the door.

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I just couldn't open the door!
I FORCED OPEN IT!
CANNOT!!!
DIE LAH!!!

And there were no one in the toilet.. not that i wanted anyone to be inside the toilet lah.. I mean what would i say to him?!?!

"EH HELLO THERE! THE TOILET DOOR CAN'T OPEN LAH! I'M NOW STUCK IN THE CUBICLE. HELP!"

Damn sia suay lah!

At this moment, i could do 2 things.

-> Scream and shout for help and become the laughing stock of the whole company for 100 years.

OR

-> I could be like Jackie Chan and climb the walls of the toilet and jump down, in the hope of no one witnessing me do that.

Of cos i did the second one!

Imagine me, in formal wear, STRETCHING my legs to reach the wall, which is quite high fyi, and in the meantime looking left and right for anybody who will see me.. which then i would have to kill 'em! Then i jumped! And i didn't land really well. (My left leg hurts.) But heng no one saw lah!

( I cannot believe if the people at my workplace were to read this... they'll probably laugh so hard that they pee in their pants and went to the toilet and got locked too.)

Having said that, my purpose in posting this is, of cos, to let everyone read and have a laugh out of it. (But it really did happened.)

I duno why i was so suay that day. I don't recall stepping onto dog poo or walking under "tek ko" full of underwear leh...

Lessons in Life

Life.... what is it.. how to describe it.. I believe everyone exists in this world for a reason, but what? Are we here to find the reason for our existance? Or to uncover the mystery of life? Or to be taught lessons in order to appreciate life?

Ok NEXT.

I always believe that in order to enjoy life, you have to suffer first. You work hard, you'll get what you deserve. Be it in studies, at work or personal life, you have to put in effort and go the extra mile in order to achieve what you want. You just can't wait for things to happen, you have to make it happen!

Easier said than done!

I think i've learnt some things in life.

1. Just do it.

I guess Nike's right. If you wana do something, just do it. Make sure you have an objective in life and go for it. If you keep procrastinating and being indecisive, nothing will happen and all you left with is regret and awe.

2. Overdoing something will turn out the opposite result.

3. Never be too good to people.

Be good, but not TOO good to people. They will take advantage of you and climb all over your head. That's when your strength becomes your weakness. Be stern and hard when necessary.

4. Karma.

Dictionary definition: Actions with consequences.
Bible definition: You reap what you sow.

Do good things to people and do not expect anything in return. Do bad things to people and you'll have karma biting your ASS! I've experience karma alooooot of times! And majority are bad! It's kinda errie cos karma really exist. Well, you only get what you give.

5. Business is business. Personal life is personal life.

NEVER mix these 2 together.

6. Don't let your heart mess with your head!

It's hard i know.

7. Never count money during mahjong!

The more you count, the lesser money you'll have... it's true! Whenever i win, i'll count my winnings and at the end i lose! Suay! I've learnt my lesson.

8. Hard work without Luck is still useless.

You may have the best results in school, but if suay suay no company wants to hire you? You may be very good at gambling, but what if your cards are damn lousy? You may put in alot of hard work in a project, but what if all the credit goes to someone else?

"Lessons Learned".

" There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I could not undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all, all over again,
But it don't really matter,
When life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonderd how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every start,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didnt see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
All the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
you just gotta move on,
Because they are all,
Lessons learned.

Prison is SO HOT cos Paris' in it!

Hmmm... everyone seems to be going to jail nowadays.... Think lindsay lohan, paris hilton... even our very own christopher lee. Recently, most of the drunk-driving or hit-and-run cases are targeted on celebrities.... This proves that just because you are a big fuck in the entertainment industry DOESN'T mean you can break the law! Let's take a look at Paris Hilton. She was jailed for 3 weeks because of some violating of probation shit... She needs a hard dose of reality check!


I am so HAWWTT that i could get away with anything......
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Mama!!! I don't wana go jail!!!

Now, all the money in the world could not prevent her from going to jail!
Face the sentence u biatch!







Sian lor......



When people are sentenced to prison, they would have their mug shot before going to the cell, and usually their mugshot would be horrific looking.







HUGH GRANT




50 CENT




YASMINE BLEETH (She KENA ZENG IZZIT?)


But in Paris' case...................
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"I am still so haawwtt!!"

AND!!! As for her prison wear... Hmm..



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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COLLAGES!!!

When you go out to a party, event or a birthday celebration, you usually take alot of pictures. Photocollaging is really cool. It allows you to put pictures of all your favourte photos under one big photo. It's actually more fun to see all the candid pictures and reminiscing the memorable moments... I downloaded the photo collage program, but it has some stupid text at the top of the photo. For example, below's a little collage i put together.






SPOILER.



After some editing,











Well, below are some collages that i put together on certain occassions... occassions that are meant to be reminisced... Feel free to comment on them!


"Relish every moment."



Post X-Mas Party @ Balcony/Zouk '06


Balcony '05


Liquid Room Frenzie


Army Blokes



22nd Birthday Celebration @ Yaki Yuki


22nd Birthday Celebration @ SunWithMoon



Neoprint Madness


Artistic Appreciation







P/S: For those who were inside the collages, hope you all like it.

My Unhappy Life @ Commando BMT...

I know, serving the army for 2 years (1yr 10mths for me) is really a complete waste of time. I'm pretty sure that was what went through every lost bloke's mind in Singapore.




I remembered being posted to the commando BMT on 8th July 2005.. To tell you the truth, i wasn't REALLY sad and worried about it. I was more curious to know what it would be like to be living, eating, bathing with 30 botaks... I wondered if there were gonna be conflicts and fights and politics. In my mind, i was thinking. "Wah kao! Need to be in the Army already very sian..

STILL LET ME GO COMMANDO BMT! AI WA SI AR!"


During the stay at commando BMT, i got my infamous nickname no thanks to this Sgt. Richie. Damn did he make me "popular"! He said after i shaved my head, i look like.............................
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Whahahaha!!!!!

I mean it was actually hilarious cos after i cut botak, i realized i do look like one!!
I mean, the HEAD, and the eyes.
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Look like meh? Whahaha!!!!

Being in the commando BMT is NOT a bed of roses, more like a bed of thorns. Their training was extremely tough, dog-tiring and heavily-packed. People were so on the ball and "garang" and had better physique. I don't feel like one of them at all.

"At times, i felt like i'm standing there alone, if ya know what i mean."

And I understand that if you have a buddy to share the tough times with you it would feel better. Yes, i did have a buddy.
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BUT I HATED HIM!!!

You can really get to know a person so well just by being his buddy in the army. He was quiet, ignorant, selfish and likes to put people down too. He was NEVER caring nor supportive, especially during harsh times when help was greatly appreciated. He was just not there. "You're never there...." I still remember one time he couldn't find his SAR21 rifle, and he got me punished too cos i'm his "buddy"!

WAH SAY NEVER THERE FOR ME STILL SABO ME!Basket.

Thinking that i'm only talking my side of the story? You could ask the rest of the commando mates on how was he like and the way he treated his "buddy".

"Nicholas, you have made my stay in the commando BMT an unpleasant one.
But still, i wish you the best.... NAH, i'm just saying that!"

Having said that, i do have a few good friends there, those who's worth keeping as friends, people like Jeremiah, Kian Boon, Gary, WenQiang(just to name THESE few!). Wish you guys all the best!! (I mean it.)

Sadistic Primary School Teachers!!

I don't know about the primary school teachers nowadays but during my time, most of them were like a bunch of abusive, mentally unsound sadists! Let me take you to a trip down the horror lane on my primary school days... The things we did that got us punished... or abused... First, i'm gonna name out the "memorable" teachers on my list.. feelin' kinda like KILL BILL here...

1. MR LONG AH CHYE (Mathematics)
Whenever he was teaching Mathematics in class i would feel very intimidated and frightened because after he finished teaching he'll ask questions (I always choose the back seat) and if you didn't answer correctly....

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HE WILL PULL THE FUCKING HELL OUT OF YOUR EARS WITH ALL HIS MIGHT!!!

I swore i could hear my bone crack.

The strength he used to pull the students' ears was so great, and the sound of his watch shaking while he pulled my ears still echoed... AND most important... HIS IDIOTIC SADISTIC LOOK WHILE PULLING MY EARS!

It's like "WHY DIDN'T YOU PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS? HUH?? YOU STUPID KID!! HUH?? YOU DESERVE IT!!"

KNN...

I guess he had a rather abusive relationship with his parents when he was young, so for that, i forgive him. I just pity his kids...

2. MDM GOH KENG HOON (English)
She was always wearing floral dresses with a pair of fucking geeky shades and one time, she cut her hair like Razor Ramon. She also likes to grind her teeth, you know the way old hags do... One time, we were reading a story in a textbook and i was in seating front of the class (fucking unfortunately) and she asked me to read out a certain passage which i forgot... it had got something to do with astronauts.. so i kept silent...

OLD HAG: "Yaoming, read the astronauts passage."

ME:"........................................................."

OLD HAG:"YAOMING!!! ASTRONAUTS!!! YAOMING!!!!"
(Her eyes opened so wide in astonishment or should i say amazement?! And she gave a stupid cynical smile.)

ME:"...........................................er............................."
(On the verge of tears)

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(SMACK!!!!)
She fucking slapped me lor.
Never mind..............

OLD HAG:"YAOMING!!! READ THE ASTRONAUT PASSAGE!!!"

ME:"Oh.... okay......... erm..............."
(Startling and already crying)

(SMACK!!!!)
There she goes... again...

Biatch.

3.MR LEE SOCK HENG(SCIENCE)
Well, i saved the "best" for last... this teacher is DAMNNNNN......... scary. I always felt like my pee's gonna flow out whenever he yelled at us. You know how your exercise books have folded pages when u have made alot of mistakes?? Well, one time, he actually stepped into our class during another teacher's lesson to return us the excercise books. He called out the names of those with alot of mistakes ONE by ONE....And ya know what he did.......

HE SMACKED OUR FACES WITH THE EXERCISE BOOKS!

One girl got lucky though, she wasn't smacked but, her book was just thrown out of the class and landed into a pond... Hmm...

Bad memories... its scary but funny.... don't you think?!

Female lawyers in their killer heels

A few days before I officially ORD, my good friend Jason rang me up and ask me if I wana work with him as a part-timer at the law firm, Drew & Napier. In my mind I was thinking I’m gonna be damn broke after I’m released from the army (Not that the army pays me a lot, HELL NO!), so I jumped at the chance! Furthermore, the job fits my criteria (!!!)… after gathering all the job details from Jason:

• Working hours 9am – 5.30pm (Reasonable.)


• Mondays – Fridays (Weekends free)


• Job scope very relax (Easy money, can “keng”)


• Female lawyers there are DAMNNNN…. Chio!!!

The job scope is actually very simple. Basically I just need to convert emails into PDF format, which is what I have been doing for the past 5 weeks!!! Working in the law firm as an admin clerk can be EXTREMELY BORING… I could just easily doze off while sitting up straight and still staring at the computer! Because this job doesn’t require any utilization of brain cells! (I mean which is good lah, cos I’m kinda dumb anyway.) However, overall the job is quite relax so its all good for me.

Furthermore, having Jason as my colleague makes it SO MUCH FUN to work at, maybe cos whenever we’re feeling bored, we just MSN each other to go for coffee and toilet breaks and also to bitch about those lawyers! (Trust me; he can make me laugh so hard in the toilet!) And!!! We always do the 4Ps together!

1. Pang jio (Pee)
2. Pang sai (Poop)
3. Pang pui (Fart)
4. Pang kang (Knock-off)

The lawyers there are all so tall and confident and HIGHLY ENGUISH EDUCATED! The males lawyers sound like they’re ABC and they talk with so much confidence and charisma… and not forgetting, they talk like LOUD SPEAKERS TOO! Their normal way of talking is as if they are picking an argument with whomever they talk to.

As for the female lawyers… I’ve gotta say I’m rather impressed with them. They have great sense of fashion, they ooze confidence when they speak and they’re all so tall and slim. I feel like I’m in a fashion show whenever I’m at the office!

Mess with me and i'll kick your ass!
And sue you somemore!

The Auntie @ Mc'Donalds

If i could still recall the incident it was during my secondary school days, 3 or 4...One day after school, me and my friends went to the McDonalds at Serangoon Circus for lunch. I wanted to order one Oreo McFlurry.


ME: “Auntie, one McFlurry.”

Auntie: “Ni yao ORAL haishi MM?”
(Do you want ORAL or MM?!!?)

ME: “……………………….”

ME: “Oreo…”

Auntie: “Huh!!?!?!”

ME: “OREO!!!”

Auntie: “Huh!!?!??”

I reckon she’s abit “chao he lang”(deaf).

ME: “ORAL ORAL!!!”

Auntie: “ Oh, okay okay.”

??!!???!!!??

I think what she meant was Oreo or M&Ms! But believe me from the way she said it at that moment was so fucking hilarious! Can u imagine what a laugh it would be if she said “Ni Yao ORAL haishi SM???”

IntoMyWorld : Ming's Space

Hi folks!

Welcome to my blog - A place (or "space") for me to kill time & boredom, with a little dash of humor.

Enjoy.

-Patrick